Women are psychos: first hand evidence – having brothers.

 (How to stop yourself from being a psycho) 

One of my brother’s girlfriends once monitored the amount of Facebook friends he had on a day-to-day basis... And her results conveyed the inevitable fluctuation as people come and go... (I myself have deleted Facebook). She accused him of quote ‘adding and deleting birds and then fucking them’. 

Pardon? For starters, that doesn’t make sense and secondly, really? you really think he’d do that? I just wanted to be like, look in the mirror – U R FIT HONEY. Double G boobs (boob job), long blonde hair, mysteriously perfect nose (?), good banter, skinny. You fucking idiot. I mean what is wrong with us, we have all got a bit of psycho in us, okay not as much as that nutcracker, but we have a small-medium percentage of it.

 Stalking is a craze, which Facebook has invented, and twitter, and now Instagram (fuck me I cant stop stalking peoples pictures). And also reported from a friend the stalking of Snapchat in which one girl busted her fella, when his ‘top friend’ was a 15-year-old schoolgirl. Woopsy. It does my absolute nut in, you meet someone and you get him or her on all social media arenas and then there it goes the days before your first date you spend stalking and creating an idea of their life. And sometimes yes you can be right, but sometimes oh so wrong, leaving you questioning your sanity. 

This brings me to my latest endeavour..

Fuck social media when it comes to dating, dodge that Facebook add and twitter follow, tell them you don’t wish to become social media acquaintances before you are an actual acquaintance of theirs first (or just lie and say you don’t believe in it lol). This is what I did in the summer of 2012. Met a guy, chatted in a club, exchanged numbers. Next day introductory texts (impressive, none of the usual ‘gd 2 meet u gorjus. Wt u up2’), this was some good intellectual shit. So instead we picked up where we left off and we exchange email. Some may seem this weird, but it fit with exchanging articles on the political topic we were both interested in (yes it wasn’t your usual ‘ur fit can I taste ur tongue’ chat).

 8 months later, we still email as he is living abroad, we haven’t got each other on social media, leaving me to make my own opinions of him in what he shares with me and vice versa. Yeah it’s a tad strange, but to hell with this normal cack, this is modern and refreshing. To have someone so impartial to exchange thoughts and feelings with is a genuine breath of fresh air. 

Random as fuck yes, I’m not saying to trot into town get chatting to a 7/10 at a bar and force him to exchange emails. BUT think outside of the box; don’t let it be the same old if he seems interesting. I made a pact to myself before I went to university, if his first text the next day is along the lines of: ‘Hi babes, lovely to meet you last night. How r u today?’ delete the boring bastard. Ain’t nobody got time for the same old shit. 

(and if he's wearing crocs then you shouldn't be anywhere bloody near him)